I don’t wear much jewelry. I appreciate it and see the beauty in it, but I generally don’t pay it much mind. There are really only two pieces that I wear. One is a small silver hooped nose ring in my left nostril that is one of many in a long line of small silver hooped nose rings that have been there since I was … Continue reading Choke Hold
I do not have a long neck. It is not slender nor elegant nor beautifully curved. A standard neck with no frills, my neck has a round, medium sized mole on the right side and a small freckle sized mole at the base. Since my birth my neck has done what all good necks are designed to do, it has supported my head, protected my … Continue reading Oh, My Neck
The sentence, ‘These aren’t the thyroids you’re looking for’ is not funny. I’m ashamed of myself for even thinking of it, my comedy card may actually be revoked because of that lame-ass gag. First off it’s a Star Wars goof, and a very low hanging fruit of a Star Wars goof at that. Secondly, it’s a joke about a gland, and there’s not a super … Continue reading Funny Ha Ha
Birthday! Birthday! It’s my birthday. Astrologically I’m a cancer and recently this little crab has been weathering a bit of a storm. The namesake of my zodiac sign has made an unwanted and unwelcomed appearance in my life, promising to make this summer a memorable one. * * * I like smoking. I like the smell of it, I like the taste of it and … Continue reading Smokescreens & Magazines
With the current climate as it is I sometimes wonder why I made the decision that I did. Why did I return to the United States? Why did I come back to a place that has a real possibility of being run by a giant period clot with bad hair? This place that may become the real life version of Margaret Atwood’s book, ‘The Handmaid’s … Continue reading Third World Series
It’s dark. Dusk. Early morning. I’m awake. I have to pee. I don’t want to get out of bed. The light through the window tells me it’s early. I hear the monks chanting. They strike the cooper gong as they shuffle down the street draped in maroon robes. I can’t see them. But I know. The monks act as my morning time keepers. It must … Continue reading Rainy Season
A fancy party. A fancy evening. A posh evening. After attending a BBQ held at a rich person’s house I went with some of those rich folks to a bar for a party. And man oh man was this party filled with posh people. POSH. People that talked about Fiji, Ibiza and Montenegro and their favorite bars and restaurants in each respective place. They joked … Continue reading French Crudités
The cheers are loud and wholehearted. Filling my newly brightened apartment. They come from the people of the neighborhood. The men, women and children who live in the area that deal with this all the time. Their entire lives. This is their reality. An inconvenience and source of new frustration for me. But for them this is nothing new. They have experienced this kind of … Continue reading Lights Out
Not until I was almost there. I didn’t notice until I was almost there. I walked 1.2 miles. Or 2 kilometers. Or about 2,000 steps. And it wasn’t the whole time, but for at least some portion of that journey my dress was hiked up past my bum. Beyond the bum. The bum was sticking out for the world to see. The bum was covered … Continue reading Booty Booty Everywhere
Imagine the scene: A hot & sunny afternoon in Bangkok. Imagine yourself the player: A portly, awkward American gal. You’re taking a short visa mandated trip away from your life in Burma. And you are not unhappy about this. You go out. Wander. Eat mangoes. Talk to people. Get massages. Eat fried bananas from a street vendor. Not bad. Not bad at all. You’re using … Continue reading Fat Man in a Dress
