Sex, War & Going To The Bathroom

I like learnin. It does a bawdy body good. I like learnin through a variety of different avenues. Through the traditional avenues. The non-traditional avenues. The run down, barely inhabited avenues. Learning can be a blast. And as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to appreciate some of the more traditional ways to acquire the smarts. Like sitting in a classroom and listening to a knowledgable … Continue reading Sex, War & Going To The Bathroom

Clam Bake! Or How My Vagina Steam Was Way More Authentic Than Gwyneth Paltrow’s

Searing the Tuna. Steaming the Dumpling. Sweating the Onion. Blanching the Asparagus. Steaming the Cabbage. Washing the Cat. Husking the Corn. Baking the Clam. Wetting the Limestone. So many euphemisms. It started with a wall posting. One of them new fangled Facebook wall postings. It was from a friend. It was from a friend telling me that I needed to try something and then report … Continue reading Clam Bake! Or How My Vagina Steam Was Way More Authentic Than Gwyneth Paltrow’s

Emotional Scars & Disney Princesses: Life Decisions

At a crossroads. Such a cliché term. Really. But that is where I am. Maybe not a crossroads. Maybe more like standing at a decision making crosswalk. Do I stay on this side of the street? Do I cross the road? Maybe turn right? Or there’s always the left turn. So many directions can be taken. Well, four, actually. In this traffic scenario. But which … Continue reading Emotional Scars & Disney Princesses: Life Decisions

Tryer, Tryer, Pants on Fire

After lunch at work one day we were talking about all the ‘weird’ foods we’ve tried. Alligator…check, snake…check, kangaroo…check. And when I answered affirmatively to almost every single item that was thrown out there, one guy called me ‘Mondo Cane’. To this I said, “What did you just call me?” Turns out Mondo Cane was an Italian film from the 1960’s that had no real … Continue reading Tryer, Tryer, Pants on Fire

Nuptials & Nudity or How I Spent My Saturday

Weddings are weird. Every time I go to a wedding I feel like I’m an anthropologist doing a field study into the mating rituals of the wild animals known as ‘humans’. I don’t dislike weddings, I like them just fine, but I find them to be so strange. So ritualistic (and I get the fact that it is indeed a ‘ritual’, so shut up your … Continue reading Nuptials & Nudity or How I Spent My Saturday

My Spirit Animal Was Taken Down By A Wicked Case Of The Itis.

Sick. So sick. I woke up on a Friday morning with the look of death, the feeling of death and the voice of Harvey Fierstein. Rough shape indeed. In a slow, foggy zombiefied state I got myself ready for work, as sick days are not really a thing here in Korea. Especially for foreign workers such as myself. You work. Unless you are REALLY sick, … Continue reading My Spirit Animal Was Taken Down By A Wicked Case Of The Itis.